Sleeping Saturday

Not much work today.
Spoke to mom.
Went to dollar tree.
Watched TV.

Slept well.. Slept well.. Slept well... Sleeping Saturday!!!

Need a Mouth Zipper

Today, we had a discussion with customer about resource planning for next financial year. And, it's been decided that one of the associate need to be released to maintain the OFL. Clients agreed on a name, we provided. I called him for a one to one meeting and asked him to start find next project. It's completely unethical & un-official which I shouldn't talk to him. But, I did it, because I was irritated by his action.

I thought he will stop what he was doing the junk work and will start his project search or will go out. This seems to be an evil act. But, it got back fired. He was rising question on what basis his name was chosen to release him. If my first assistance had this meeting, he would have handled in a more gentle way. Now, I fear whether any issue will arise due to this. I did similar worst things in my past too. Later, I used to either apologize or feel for rest of my life. Still, I haven't learnt from my mistakes. God, Please get me a Mouth Zipper!!!

Straight is not always right

Drawing a straight line with free hand will be difficult and getting a perfect straight line will be awesome. But getting a straight line in ECG means a end of life. My office work seems to reflect a straight line for quite long time. That too a straight line on the rock bottom of the graph. I am not doing anything in office. But feeling Jealous with others on completing their task. I don't know what happen to me.  

Before joining this account, I was begging RMG for any project. After joining, I felt the heat of un-allocated and worked a lot... really a lot. No Twitter. No Facebook. No unnecessary calls. No Movies. I used to work from early morning to late night. I used to support the project on weekends for others. Those days are really wonderful and got good name among the clients.

But now, It's quite opposite. Not doing my work within my office. Just roaming around the office. Doing unofficial works. Not starting assigned work.... Every night I am going to sleep thinking my passion for work will change.... Nothing changed for last 6 months... It continues to be perfect straight line... If it is not changing very soon, I career will die and it's a perfect murder by me!!! 

Another Failure

In yesterday's post, I am mentioned that I took the first step towards the good path. Today, there is not only any improvement from before, but ultimately failed in all aspects. I woke up around 3AM and was wasting the time & my sleep for just browsing the sites. It went on till 6:15AM. Reached office around 8AM. I was feeling very tired both physically & mentally. I didn't do any task throughout the day and was just wandering around the office.

Barani gave love of points to improve. But, I forgot everything after coming back to desk. Bright was asking about the status. Couldn't give any proper answer. I am sure when could I complete the task. I know what to do. But, it's completely due to my laziness, I didn't make any progress till now. I know I am losing lot of opportunities due to this. But, still not doing anything for that.

I am completely lost hope on my future. Just having dreams. No action to work on the dreams. I am afraid on how my family will survive with my current condition. Nothing to say more... It's another failure!!! 

First Step!

After a very long time, today had satisfaction of doing something. Reached office by 7 AM. Completed few pending task. Started from office after 5 PM. Spoke to mom outside office hours... etc. Even though there are lot to improve, this seems to be a first step to regain the lost spirit. Few things needs to be considered are, below:
1. Not to open personal mail in office.
2. Not to browse non-work related sites in office.
3. Not to skip any meeting in office.
4. Reduce the hours of watching Television at home.
5. Get enough sleep.
6. Find a process to improve concentration.
7. And many more....

All these cannot be achieved in a day or two. But, with dedicated effort, I believe I can do it.... After all every success needs a first step!!!
 

Carports for Car!

Yesterday, parked my car outside the Carport. Even though my wife asked me to drop it inside, I told her that there will be a rain overnight and will wash the car. Today, when we started for shopping, found the wind shield covered with thick snow. It took long while to clear it. It won't seems to be a big deal. But, it's only due to my laziness... After all, Carports are meant for Cars!!!

Just another day!

Neither Church nor Temple...
No Outing...
No Special food...
No Wishes... No Calls...
No Parties...
No Fireworks...
Just another day... yes, Just another great day with my wife & daughter!!!